Top Ten Do’s/Don’ts – For comportment while with your child during periods of possession:

By Nancy L. Rommelmann PLLC | Family Law Attorney –


1.  Make a sincere effort to personally care for your child.

2.  Insure the child attends extracurricular activities in which the child is enrolled/participates. (Church activities and other extracurricular activities like cheer, sports, scouts, etc.)

3.  Talk with the other parent/child about what homework/projects should be begun, worked on or completed by the end of your period of possession, do it, and tell the other parent what was done!

4.  Involve your child in plans for activities during periods of possession. Make special plans.

5.  Report to authorities if you believe your child is being abused. (Physical or sexual)

6.  Insure the child has their own bed to sleep in at your house.

7.  Speak positively about the other parent or say nothing at all.

8.  Refrain from what a judge might consider inappropriate behavior for you or you and your spouse/significant other (SO) while your child is present.

9.  Respect the child’s sensibilities. Dress appropriately. Wear sleep attire to bed.

10.  Return all clothing (washed if possible), personal items and school work with the child.


1.  Make your child feel like they aren’t important to you by not personally caring for them or having them cared for by a SO. Generally, don’t have the child babysit a step sibling or your SO’s child.

2.  Make the child miss practices, games, campouts, etc. that can set the child back or worse be held against them by an unforgiving coach or leader.

3.  Return the child to the other parent/school without homework/projects being begun, worked on or completed, whichever is applicable.

4.  Act like it’s a burden to care for your child. Don’t watch TV or play video games incessantly.

5.  Ignore significant/unexplained bruising, injuries or a child’s outcry about abuse.

6.  Let the child sleep with you or you and your spouse/SO.

7.  Make disparaging remarks about the other parent or allow others to do so.

8.  Drink excessively, use illegal drugs, view pornography, use profanity or argue with someone.

9.  Sleep with a SO during periods of possession. Don’t you/or allow others to be around the child in underwear or even less clothing than that!

10.  Keep clothes/personal items the child was

sent with.

At one’s deathbed, no one says,  “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time with my child.”