The Narcissist and Marriage/Divorce

Important!

Texas will hold general elections for local judicial offices on November 6, 2018, which will of course, include the family law judges.  Straight party voting can be a poor practice when it comes to electing Judges. Please educate yourself about the Judges, their experience and time on the bench.  It is vital to have experienced family law judges on the bench. A person never knows when they might be in a family law court. The community needs experienced Judges that follow the law. Thank you!


By Nancy L. Rommelmann PLLC | Family Law Attorney –

A lot of marriages cannot survive due to one of the spouses being a narcissist. A brief overview follows:

What is a Narcissist?

  • Hard to detect.
  • A sociopath.
  • Similar to antisocial personality disorder/sociopathy manifesting itself in one that disregards the feelings/rights of others.
  • One that lies and tells partial truths with an abject indifference to right and wrong and justifies amoral behavior when it’s convenient for them.
  • Extremely dangerous to your emotional, physical and financial well-being.

The Target –

  • You are a target for a narcissist if you have a lot to offer/a lot of strengths.

How it Starts –

  • Presents initially in a relationship as one that is honorable, ethical and who loves/cares for you.  This is simply a pretense to get close enough to you to hurt and exploit you. A narcissist is fueled by an endless need for domination and control over you. You will be blind sighted by the initial perception of love until their real persona unfolds.

How to survive being involved with/exiting a relationship with a narcissist –

  • Seek emotional resilience and independence.
  • Set firm boundaries that foster a strong sense of self by seeking/having healthy restorative relationships (loving and balanced) and activities such as exercise and meditation.

Disengage from people who want to manipulate you –

  • There’s a lot of great resources (online and books) to recognize a narcissist and disengage from such a destructive relationship. Check out the 1940’s movie Gaslight that is a study in the stealth tactics narcissist use in private to devalue/manipulate/exploit interpersonal relationships.

“Invalidation is crazy-making, and it is also at the root of gaslighting, where victims’ feelings are purposely denied or manipulated in order to make them question their sanity.”
Samantha Rodman, How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family