Reconciliation or Divorce in the New Year?

By Nancy L. Rommelmann PLLC | Family Law Attorney –

Nancy L. Rommelmann PLLC

I encourage parties to pursue reconciliation with a good marriage counselor. A counselor that “fits” both parties’ needs is ideal. Sometimes it takes several sessions to determine if a counselor will be a good choice for a couple. If not, be willing to go to another counselor until you find the right counselor for you as a couple. It’s not a good sign if one spouse states that they will go to counseling to “support” the other party, because it indicates that spouses’ unwillingness to address their own issues or to take responsibility for their part for the problems in the marriage.  Many marriages deteriorate beyond repair due to addictions, infidelity, unwillingness to address intimacy issues/lack thereof.

  • It is best if parties commit to counseling early in a relationship, hopefully when trust/interest has not eroded to a point of indifference and hopefully far before problems become insurmountable.
  • Be honest.  Are you going to counseling in good faith? Are you being honest with yourself and your spouse about your issues? Half-truths, lies and lack of openness sabotage the process.
  • If you are considering divorce, do the following to mitigate anxiety, fear and depression caused by uncertainty in that process. Sleepless nights worrying about unanswered questions can be minimized when you better understand the process and have the tools to move forward.
  • Consulting an experienced family law attorney is an important first step in obtaining answers to your questions and understanding the divorce process.
  • Create an inventory that includes assetsand debts; copy the source of the information and five years of income tax returns. It’s not uncommon for a spouse to be unaware of their estate’s details. A family law attorney can suggest resources to help you gather information.
  • Divorce is a process requiring planning. The plan might change over time – you might choose to remain married – regardless you need to know what your estate is worth, whichever path you choose.


“You are not only responsible for what you say  but also for what you do not say.” – Martin Luther