Divorce Planning – Should I stay or should I go?

By Nancy L. Rommelmann, Family Law Attorney –

Should I stay….

I encourage parties to pursue reconciliation, if at all possible, with a good marriage counselor. A counselor that “fits” both parties’ needs is ideal. Sometimes it requires going to several different counselors (and multiple sessions to get acquainted with the counselor) to find and settle on an effective counselor for you and your spouse. It’s important that if one/both of the spouses requires medication due to depression, anxiety, etc. that the spouse see a competent psychiatrist that will follow up with that spouse to insure the medication is effective. Sometimes the medication or dosage needs to be modified so it offers the best results for an individual. Counseling alone may not be effective if a person is not first treated for an underlying medical issue that requires medication.

If you are considering divorce, your emotions and thoughts might well be chaotic. Where to start? What information to gather? Who to contact?

Or should I go….

1. Consulting with an experienced family law attorney is an important first step in obtaining answers to your questions and understanding the divorce process.

2. Gathering financial records is good to do. (statements from financial institutions, retirement accounts, IRA/SEP accounts, stocks, stock options, credit cards and income tax returns) There are other ways to obtain this information if you don’t have access to these records. Your attorney will assist you with this process.

3. Create an inventory  that includes all assets and debts, including account numbers and the spouses names that are on the accounts. Copy the source of the information and take pictures of your personal property. Obtain a credit report for you and your spouse to determine the debts in your estate.

Once you’ve obtained the information in 2 and 3 above, remove it from your home and put it somewhere safe.

Divorce is a process requiring planning.  The plan might change over time – you might choose to remain married. Regardless, you need to know what your estate is worth, whichever path you choose.


“So you got to let me know, Should I stay or should I go?”  – The Clash